Monday :
"Happy birthday bhai, i know its late for your birthday wish ", these words woke me up, i saw watch and it was 7:30 AM morning. I gave tired smile to him because yesterday's event didn't let me sleep whole night. I said while consoling my self and Sudeep " We will celebrate my birthday after he comes from unconscious state and he will come back to again light-up our life " . Actually Rajdeep was in state of just before of comma and there was high chance of slipping in coma however I was reluctant to accept this but anything was possible at that time and I had to accept the result if it would have happened. Slipping in coma would have made the case worst because coming back from comma is very rare especially in Hepatic Encephalopathy. We were just praying. It was 12:30 PM, Sudeep came from hospital and said " Dr has said - " There is no improvement and no deterioration and we are closely watching each movement. Just pray for him. Next 24 hrs is very crucial for him" ". I didn't ask anything to him and went to canteen to had lunch along with him. "Lots of carelessness from doctors side led this situation to occur" he started the conversation after completion of lunch. " Today's Doctors don't know anything, they just go in medical college to have romance " i said in reply forgetting Sudeep is in final year of medical college. He looked at me and said "Yes you are right but not all do this." and he smiled. I too smiled on his argument and it was rarest moment of being happy for few seconds in that situation. At evening, Sudeep's phone rang while flashing Hospital's contact number on display. He looked terrified and which made me more worried. He picked the phone and I tried to understand conversation. After completion of phone, he said " Nurse ( who was in charge of taking care of Rajdeep) in ICU has called me immediately " said tensely. I had no words to say. He said " Go to parents room if something happens you need to be there " and i accepted his advise. After half an hour i got call from Sudeep, i picked phone while clearly i could see my hand shivering, "His status is same but we have a problem here and you come in front of hospital I am there" he said and i felt much needed relief. "We have big problem now" he said when i came close to him. "What " i said in reply. " His hemoglobin has come down drastically from yesterday and he requires 2 bottles of fresh blood right now to keep fighting for life " he continued. "There is a blood bank in this hospital but we need fresh blood which means donor should have donated blood with in 24 hrs and we have to arrange donor right now". " I can give blood, lets go to blood bank and have a check" i said as fast as possible and went to blood bank. Unfortunately my and Sudeep' blood group didn't match with rajdeep. We looked hopelessly to each other, we had to arrange donor anyhow. We started to make calls separately to our friends or relative if they could give blood of required blood group and it was urgent. After putting much effort, Sudeep convinced his school friends ( who were in ranchi at that time) to donate blood of required blood group. Few minutes later, they were in hospital. There was natural joy and sign of relief on our face while seeing them although we had knew, we had to be prepared for facing such difficult situation in coming days. After donation of blood, these guys went to respective home and we thanked them by heart. I saw my wristwatch and it was showing 11:45 pm. Sudeep kept hand on my shoulder and said " More tough and difficult situation can come" I nodded.
Tuesday :
"There is still no sign of improvement but positive side is no deterioration either " Sudeep said to me on breakfast table. "I think if he survives today, we have a chance to save him and I do believe in miracles" he continued while taking tea ship. " Every second seems to be a year here and it kills me" I said to him in sad tone. "How much we are paying now for his treatment" a question cropped in my mind and i directed it to Sudeep. "You won't believe, its 22K per day" he said in reply. "Ohhh !!! " I exclaimed. "Actually hospital charges are not adding much but cost of his medicines are around roughly 15k". " Live saving drugs are of different kind, These drugs are only made for these patients because his liver is completely damaged and these drugs normally do not affect liver." he continued. Actually he was suffering from acute liver failure which causes liver to stop functioning in normal way and hence stopping from doing detoxification of food waste. Ammonia Gas was spreading fast in his body through bloods which was major concerned to doctors. " Even if he comes from unconscious state, he can suffer from complete memory loss or paralysis " Sudeep said. " Ohhh God !!" i couldn't utter any more. "Toxic gases can seize his mind and can make permanent damage". " Lest hope for the best" he concluded the conversation. Entire rest of the day Rajdeep's status was same.
Wednesday :
No much big problem had come today and his health status continued to be same throughout this day. Today was comparatively peaceful day.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
7 Days
Friday Morning :
"Grrrr.........." my alarm clock sounded, broke my sleep abruptly. I saw the clock with half opened eyes and the timing was 8:30 am. I was feeling very sleepy because i couldn't sleep whole night and was thinking constantly about health of youngest brother ( Yesterday i was informed that he was hospitalized because of severe jaundice and he was so weak few bottles of saline were used ) and was not in mood to go office, but i was forced to come as there was an issue with client and i had no option. In office too, i was constantly thinking about him "how did happen to him??, He is so careless, never eats proper foods. How is my mom and dad ......". "Sandeep..." i was interrupted, boss called me. He showed me the actual bug in software and wanted to be fixed urgently, and he tried to pressurized me as much as possible and yet again i had no choice. Also i tried to engage my self in work. After few minutes, i got phone call from younger brother Sudeep, "We need you, come urgently." I felt shocking wave and my tension increased 100 times, "there must be some serious problem " constantly it was coming in my mind and i had to leave as quickly as possible. I made reservation on Air India using traveling portal and flight was on sunday. After putting few hours, i finally managed to fix the bug and came out from office at 8:30 pm.
Saturday :
I was feeling helpless, could not be doing any thing. I was bombarded with all short of feelings, sometime negative and sometime positive. I was consoling myself "Need not worry, he would be alright. Its our bad luck". Entire day i felt restlessness, any how i slept early because i had to catch flight in early morning.
Sunday :
I woke up at 5:30 am, hurriedly got ready and with my best effort i managed to reach at airport on time. The flight was indirect. First i had to go Delhi and then from Delhi to Ranchi but without changing plane. It was approximately 4:55 hrs of journey, however it was Air India and offcourse national carrier. How we can expect reaching on time. As per our expectation our flight got delayed 2.5 hrs. Journey was tired and frustrating. I thought its name should be changed to Bhagwaan Bharoose. I reached Ranchi at 4 pm, my cousin sister came to pick me and she drove me to hospital directly without any delay. On the way, i fired some questions on sister to clear my confusion and i got some positive answers which calmed my tensed mind that was much needed however that lasted for few minutes. After reaching hospital, i saw my parents were very depressed, although till now i was unaware of actual problem or illness, i consoled my parents as much as possible in positive way. It was 7:30 evening, my brother called to come with him to see Rajdeep and before entering hospital, he whispered "It is too late and surviving percentage is only 2 or 3. Doctors have responded negatively, anything is possible now". "Anything" i screamed, "Oh God !!!!! Why u did not tell me ?? what happened to him?? ". I was shaking so hard after hearing, i couldn't stand for while and sat on outside hospital pavement. "He is suffering from Hepatic Encephalopathy, deadliest disease, next 48 hours are very crucial for his survival, if he survives then we have some chance to save him" said while crying and that could not stop me from crying with him. We hugged each other but could not stop crying, then i saw sky said "Please God save him, take eveything from me but just save him". "It happened due doctors negligence and basically drug induced" he continued and "Everything thing depends on God now" he ended after telling series of events that led to this situation. I was shocked and traumatized. "See him alive today bhai, tomorrow it might be late" he concluded chat. I said him in reply "Bhai, we would see his smile once again, nothing would happen to him. God could not do this to us". Finally after taking some rest, i entered the hospital, went to ICU and saw him. He was lying on bed eye closed and i could see his skeleton very clearly (lost high weight), his body was shaking very hard (typical symptoms of Hepatic Encephalopathy ), he had shrunked little bit. He was on life supporting machine (ventilator) and he was survived till now because of that machine only. My patience gave up, i came out of hospital while weeping and Sudeep followed me. Unfortunately today was my birthday.
To be continued in next blog.......
"Grrrr.........." my alarm clock sounded, broke my sleep abruptly. I saw the clock with half opened eyes and the timing was 8:30 am. I was feeling very sleepy because i couldn't sleep whole night and was thinking constantly about health of youngest brother ( Yesterday i was informed that he was hospitalized because of severe jaundice and he was so weak few bottles of saline were used ) and was not in mood to go office, but i was forced to come as there was an issue with client and i had no option. In office too, i was constantly thinking about him "how did happen to him??, He is so careless, never eats proper foods. How is my mom and dad ......". "Sandeep..." i was interrupted, boss called me. He showed me the actual bug in software and wanted to be fixed urgently, and he tried to pressurized me as much as possible and yet again i had no choice. Also i tried to engage my self in work. After few minutes, i got phone call from younger brother Sudeep, "We need you, come urgently." I felt shocking wave and my tension increased 100 times, "there must be some serious problem " constantly it was coming in my mind and i had to leave as quickly as possible. I made reservation on Air India using traveling portal and flight was on sunday. After putting few hours, i finally managed to fix the bug and came out from office at 8:30 pm.
Saturday :
I was feeling helpless, could not be doing any thing. I was bombarded with all short of feelings, sometime negative and sometime positive. I was consoling myself "Need not worry, he would be alright. Its our bad luck". Entire day i felt restlessness, any how i slept early because i had to catch flight in early morning.
Sunday :
I woke up at 5:30 am, hurriedly got ready and with my best effort i managed to reach at airport on time. The flight was indirect. First i had to go Delhi and then from Delhi to Ranchi but without changing plane. It was approximately 4:55 hrs of journey, however it was Air India and offcourse national carrier. How we can expect reaching on time. As per our expectation our flight got delayed 2.5 hrs. Journey was tired and frustrating. I thought its name should be changed to Bhagwaan Bharoose. I reached Ranchi at 4 pm, my cousin sister came to pick me and she drove me to hospital directly without any delay. On the way, i fired some questions on sister to clear my confusion and i got some positive answers which calmed my tensed mind that was much needed however that lasted for few minutes. After reaching hospital, i saw my parents were very depressed, although till now i was unaware of actual problem or illness, i consoled my parents as much as possible in positive way. It was 7:30 evening, my brother called to come with him to see Rajdeep and before entering hospital, he whispered "It is too late and surviving percentage is only 2 or 3. Doctors have responded negatively, anything is possible now". "Anything" i screamed, "Oh God !!!!! Why u did not tell me ?? what happened to him?? ". I was shaking so hard after hearing, i couldn't stand for while and sat on outside hospital pavement. "He is suffering from Hepatic Encephalopathy, deadliest disease, next 48 hours are very crucial for his survival, if he survives then we have some chance to save him" said while crying and that could not stop me from crying with him. We hugged each other but could not stop crying, then i saw sky said "Please God save him, take eveything from me but just save him". "It happened due doctors negligence and basically drug induced" he continued and "Everything thing depends on God now" he ended after telling series of events that led to this situation. I was shocked and traumatized. "See him alive today bhai, tomorrow it might be late" he concluded chat. I said him in reply "Bhai, we would see his smile once again, nothing would happen to him. God could not do this to us". Finally after taking some rest, i entered the hospital, went to ICU and saw him. He was lying on bed eye closed and i could see his skeleton very clearly (lost high weight), his body was shaking very hard (typical symptoms of Hepatic Encephalopathy ), he had shrunked little bit. He was on life supporting machine (ventilator) and he was survived till now because of that machine only. My patience gave up, i came out of hospital while weeping and Sudeep followed me. Unfortunately today was my birthday.
To be continued in next blog.......
Saturday, November 28, 2009
26/11 : Whom to blame
Another terrorist attack on Indian soil, hundreds killed and thousands injured, wide coverage from Indian Media and as usual condemnation from Indian Politics. 2008 year saw series of attacks from terror groups in different forms and created havoc on each and every Indians but still we have not learned lessons from series of dreadful attacks. It seems we Indian reluctant to show any assertions to Political society and we treat it as just another attack on us. After one year of 26/11, we still feel unsafe and fear, although there is a reformation of Police, Indian securities system and Indian intelligence agency but as per reputation we don't expect much from them.
Even after one year alone terrorist captured Ajmal Kasab is still alive and government has spent more than 20 crores for his securities. Few days back leading news papers came with headlines "Mubaiker's demand : Hang Kasab ". Most surprising fact is the delay in verdict of court, although we have proper evidence to prove him guilty. Then why delay in judgment ?? Same thing goes to Afzal Guru. What message we are sending to world that we are incapable of bringing justice in time? Are we not loosing faiths on Indian judiciary system? By hanging them, we will send strong message to perpetrators, will boost morals to our security guards, will bring smiles to innocent victims of the terrorist attack and also will build confidence on common man.
At this point of time, when we are openly threatened by terror groups, to counter such threats we need tough law and its quick implementation with no delay. This will definitely win the lost confidence of common man. Still after one year, victims have not received its proper treatment, few of them still carrying bullets in their body. Railways jobs which was promised at that time, has not given till now to needy. Although some consolation rewards have given but this is not adequate. Main problems are delay in implementation of any promise made by politicians and its root cause is multi-layered bureaucracy. We need to have transparency in system and quick response.
At this point of time, when we are openly threatened by terror groups, to counter such threats we need tough law and its quick implementation with no delay. This will definitely win the lost confidence of common man. Still after one year, victims have not received its proper treatment, few of them still carrying bullets in their body. Railways jobs which was promised at that time, has not given till now to needy. Although some consolation rewards have given but this is not adequate. Main problems are delay in implementation of any promise made by politicians and its root cause is multi-layered bureaucracy. We need to have transparency in system and quick response.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Success : The ulitmate goal
In media driven world, success is most regular used word at every section of news from politics to bollywood everywhere. Generally we read lots of interview of successful person from different background and we are supposed to get inspiration from them. It seems success is only goal of life at any cost and we need to achieve it by whatever means. Then there is one question, what is purpose of any ones life?? To be successful or to have happiness in mind. We hear the word "casting couch" alot in news paper or magazine and we know what does it mean.
Is success is so much important in life that compel us to cross all boundaries and we work so hard to achieve it that we forget our all social and moral responsibility. I think in today's life getting money and fame defines success word. That means everyone running for this "success". What about our social and moral responsibility ??
Then how you do define success of farmers who are working so hard without much expectation from outside world and also struggles for getting right price of their crops. Is their success is small to famous and wealthy people. Although farmers are responsible for basic need of human being. If not then what is exact definition of success ?? Is success word's definition varies from person to person?? If yes then why we all compare all successful people in same way? Is it media's responsibility to project success of different people from different background in same way or its our to make distinction? Is media biased to some section of people ? Or we are becoming too materialistic ?
Very few know the Baba Amte who was an social worker and social activist known particularly for his work for the rehabilitation and empowerment of poor people suffering from leprosy. He was restrict follower of Gandhism and practiced yarn spinning Chakra and wearing Khadi. In his last days he was fully involved in Narmada Bachao Andolan along with Medha Patkar which fought against both unjust displacement of local inhabitants and damage to the environment on account of the construction of the Sardar Sarovar dam on the Narmada river. Is he not successful?
From my point of view these people are more successful than of our anyone else. Putting whole life for the welfare of others without expecting in return is biggest sacrifice and not even for money or fame. Your contribution in solving problems of common man defines success, bringing smile on sad face, giving food to hungry. After all Humanism is biggest religion.
Is success is so much important in life that compel us to cross all boundaries and we work so hard to achieve it that we forget our all social and moral responsibility. I think in today's life getting money and fame defines success word. That means everyone running for this "success". What about our social and moral responsibility ??
Then how you do define success of farmers who are working so hard without much expectation from outside world and also struggles for getting right price of their crops. Is their success is small to famous and wealthy people. Although farmers are responsible for basic need of human being. If not then what is exact definition of success ?? Is success word's definition varies from person to person?? If yes then why we all compare all successful people in same way? Is it media's responsibility to project success of different people from different background in same way or its our to make distinction? Is media biased to some section of people ? Or we are becoming too materialistic ?
Very few know the Baba Amte who was an social worker and social activist known particularly for his work for the rehabilitation and empowerment of poor people suffering from leprosy. He was restrict follower of Gandhism and practiced yarn spinning Chakra and wearing Khadi. In his last days he was fully involved in Narmada Bachao Andolan along with Medha Patkar which fought against both unjust displacement of local inhabitants and damage to the environment on account of the construction of the Sardar Sarovar dam on the Narmada river. Is he not successful?
From my point of view these people are more successful than of our anyone else. Putting whole life for the welfare of others without expecting in return is biggest sacrifice and not even for money or fame. Your contribution in solving problems of common man defines success, bringing smile on sad face, giving food to hungry. After all Humanism is biggest religion.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Attitude : Success Mantra of Life
Attitude is the inner window through which any individual sees out side world. Attitude is you inner voice when you face favorable or unfavorable condition which guides your brain to take specific steps in reaction of that situation. From my point of view, having positive attitude is biggest assets of any individual apart from having original talent. Beauty with without brain is just like rose without scent, in similar fashion, one can say without having good attitude your talent has of no use. Your talent is useless, unless you know how to use it in right time at right place which comes from good attitude. A famous person has said "First make attitude then attitude will make you " . So, here we see, just having talent is not enough and we need to be intelligent to use in smart way.
Best example to support my argument is Sachin Tendulkar , cricketing God of India. Most famoused, patriotic and hard working sport person. Ramakant Achrekar (Cricketing guru of Vinod Kambli and Sachin) once said during interview that "VK is more talented then ST. Some shots of VK are excellent and better than that of ST".
Obviously we know who is more successful, Its the attitude of their own which made the difference. One is struggling in reality show and other one celebrating 20 years of cricketing life. Handling pressure of expectation of millions, facing so many injuries and many ups and downs in life, is remarkable and these qualities comes from attitude. How you take your life, how well conduct yourself and how you manage yourself in difficult times depends upon you.
Best example to support my argument is Sachin Tendulkar , cricketing God of India. Most famoused, patriotic and hard working sport person. Ramakant Achrekar (Cricketing guru of Vinod Kambli and Sachin) once said during interview that "VK is more talented then ST. Some shots of VK are excellent and better than that of ST".
Obviously we know who is more successful, Its the attitude of their own which made the difference. One is struggling in reality show and other one celebrating 20 years of cricketing life. Handling pressure of expectation of millions, facing so many injuries and many ups and downs in life, is remarkable and these qualities comes from attitude. How you take your life, how well conduct yourself and how you manage yourself in difficult times depends upon you.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
India and its curent political scenario
India is the largest democracy in the world, certainly we are proud of it. But really we should feel proud about it? I am not asking question on existence of democracy in india , i am putting the question on the way it is practiced in India.
As we know, politics is dirty game, its required lots of conspiracy and manipulation in order to win in election. Lots of confusion created among voters at last moment. Isn't election commissioner doing well while conducting polls??
Recently, heard the noise of "paid news", ( those who don't know- Political news aired on television mentioning about candidate's profile, he/she's constituency and off course how good he/she is. Party paid handsome money to broadcast it.) . More than 200 crores of Tax paying money wasted on this. Not just this, it created confusion among voters.
Second big news is coming from Jharkhand, ex CM Madhu Koda drank more than 2000 crores in illegal Hawala Transaction. The amount not to say is how much. This amount is sufficient to light up millions of homes of under privileged society. Democracy is of the people, for the people and by the people. But now it seems its definition changed.
Above examples are the just two simple case right now we are witnessing. Questions is how we can trust our rulers? How we can make it more transparent ?
As we know, politics is dirty game, its required lots of conspiracy and manipulation in order to win in election. Lots of confusion created among voters at last moment. Isn't election commissioner doing well while conducting polls??
Recently, heard the noise of "paid news", ( those who don't know- Political news aired on television mentioning about candidate's profile, he/she's constituency and off course how good he/she is. Party paid handsome money to broadcast it.) . More than 200 crores of Tax paying money wasted on this. Not just this, it created confusion among voters.
Second big news is coming from Jharkhand, ex CM Madhu Koda drank more than 2000 crores in illegal Hawala Transaction. The amount not to say is how much. This amount is sufficient to light up millions of homes of under privileged society. Democracy is of the people, for the people and by the people. But now it seems its definition changed.
Above examples are the just two simple case right now we are witnessing. Questions is how we can trust our rulers? How we can make it more transparent ?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
My Love Story
Love is not just 4 words, it is in fact changes ur life, the way u see the life, feeling of completeness , desire of ringing phone, excitment , dreaming at the desk of office while seeing monitor and much more...... . For me it was first such true experiance. I was thrilled, Excited all the time.
Here My story begins ( How we met !!!).
It was on wednesday evening. After hectic official work, i was coming home my fellow calleagues in heavily packed auto . I tiredlessly opened flat door. I was very sleepy. But any how i opened my laptop, tried best to see scraps n mails. Just i opened orkut, i was socked seeing few scraps. A girl was claiming that my parents had asked their parents for marriage through some matrimonial sites. I just jumped from seat, felt 420 V of current flowing in my body.
I thought how is that possible??? My parents never consulted me for this, how they could do this.
Then second thought came into my mind, might be this is fake. This profile is trying to trap me. Believing in second thought i replied harshly to her--- who r u ???? my parents would not do like this n that, u r fake .. etc. I also got very rude reply, that really pissed me off. But she showed me her photographs by opening albums for strangers ( i was not her in friend list). I looked her photographs, third thought came into my mind, might be she is right. Actully, she was looking good..................................... I just felt that my heart is breaking, my tired eyes suddenly felt freshness and 420 v of current flowing now in opposite direction............................
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)